Confliction, A Fragrance
What’s that scent wafting through the air?
With trailing notes of discord, and undertones of disruption?
Confliction seems to snake its way through cracks of our lives, and it’s aroma is quickly noted as it’s stench threatens fragrant pastures.
Confliction permeates certain moments...
When there's the need to sip through a straw while a restaurant, or else that whole goddamned glass of iced tea is going to cascade down the front of your shirt, despite the fact the straw’s clearly the cause of devastating global pollution. The wait staff’s side eye confirms this tragic truth when you request one.
When that get together with old friends, who you actually really like, falls on the same day as your daughter’s school recital. There’s no way you’re going to miss the concert, but a bittersweet aroma of another-missed-moment threatens to loom over the experience.
Wanting to watch your favorite Comedian’s new special on Netflix. Because despite the fact he’s a raging misogynist in real life, his stand up brings a riot of laughter in times that are strife with seriously crappy current events. Since his misogyny is behind closed doors, but unfortunately also on sex tapes, you battle whether it’s his wife’s issue, or if you’re seriously letting down the Stardust Sisterhood by pressing play on the special.
These my friend, are the aromas of Confliction.
Confliction just wafted through my life this past week, and it’s a scent I am clawing to ignore.
My latest tangle with Confliction, has to do with my health. Lab tests are back, diagnoses have been made, and I have been begun popping pills. Not pill, but pills.
After years of slugging through hypothyroid symptoms, my blood work finally showed the dismal number doctors are looking for. I also have hypertension. Now that one, I have been trying to fly under the radar with. I have stripped my diet, lifestyled my ass off, and attempted to meditate my way to a blood pressure of yore. My doctor did indeed tell me to suck it up and take the pill, or the side effects and complications were going to be a heck of a lot more difficult to deal with than my ego and righteous naturalness.
Blood work also showed I was clearly insufficient with the Vitamin D, and I am dancing on the edge of my B’s being deficient as well.
So safe to say, my days-of-the week pill container just got rattling with some serious quantities of pills and vitamins. I also have my daily iodine and probiotic crammed in there.
Now something I learned in the past week is to never, and I mean ever, Google personal reviews for your medication. There is not just a hint of Conflinction threading through them, they actually reek of it.
The number of sites dedicated to side effects alone, had me slamming my laptop shut. I discovered a whole section of society shares tales of terror in medical forums, where clearly people who aren’t having any issues with medication ever visit. Because, why would they? Although, a few “thumbs up, this pill is not Satan,” would be appreciated in the abyss of gloom.
The side effects and reviews of my blood pressure medication are crazy. And all I can think is: “Oh cool, this will slow down the metabolism my thyroid is being fixed for, cause drowsiness after the years of exhaustion, and my water weight can potentially migrate from my face to my ankles. Awesome.”
Hence the Conflictioning.
So despite my can-do, ignorance is never bliss, disposition, I am choosing to be in the passenger seat and enjoy a little naivete. I finally ... finally ... found a doctor who listened to me and acknowledged my symptoms are not make believe.
I also think that there is an edge to my life that being a business owner adds to. Combine that with being a Mominator, and I am welcoming being passive in this one aspect. To actually defer to an expert to advise, whereas I am the de facto Commander In Chief of countless others.
Why panic before Confliction Theories even prove true? And if they do, then as I always do, I can adjust my course.
After my tangle with Googling, I opened the windows. Allowing Optimism to draft in. Lilac is a favorite scent (shouldn’t be a surprise, cue my hair color), so I’ve been rolling phthalate, SLS, sulfate, paraben, and petroleum free perfume on like paint.
So as I untangle myself from potential second guessing and premeditating doom, what about you?
Where in your life does the scent of Confliction loom or linger?