Tricks of the Trade

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You know those things you know, but it’s only because you learned them by MacGyvering yourself out of a situation?

For example ...

 

  • If you spill coffee on yourself while driving, a sanitary napkin is in instant remedy for sucking that stain right out of your overpriced cream crepe suit.
  • Never wear flip flops in a hotel shower despite what any travel blog advise for avoiding the ubiquitous hotel germ because you’ll land ass over elbows first step in.
  • PTA meetings are a trip to an alternate dimension and best avoided at all costs. Volunteer to be class parent or any other method to save you soul socking agony.
  • Pull produce from the back of the market shelf because it’s the freshest.
  • Don’t roll your yoga mat out next to the shirtless guy with extra towels if you don’t want to Savasana in a river courtesy of your neighbor.
  • Have a change of clothes on hand for deplaning when traveling with a breastfed baby. Blowouts are inevitable upon cabin pressure changes during landing.

 

See?

All handy tricks learnt by …

 

  • Rattling through your purse at 70mph searching for a napkin while driving to an industry event. A panty liner as the closest substitute. It's serendipitous to discover pads are amazingly more effective, and a serious upgrade to tissues for when coffee explodes all over you. Potholes happen.
  • Renovated porcelain tubs in New York City hotels are far more slippery than you ever would believe, and attending a client meeting sans concussion from said incident is a total win. Take the hit to whatever hidden fungus may be in the tub, and skip the flip flops.
  • The inevitable truth about PTA meetings are that they're social events for a sadistic few who enjoy holding people emotionally captive in Elementary School libraries. They amble on about tangential conversations, and tasks are made incomprehensibly more complicated than necessary. Save yourself, and trust those of us who have survived them.
  • Ditching mouldy mushrooms is never fun.
  • The amount of sweat a human body can excrete during yoga is surprisingly prolific, and although Namaste vibes are awesome, laying in a stranger's sweat totally harshes the mellow.
  • It’s a bitch to change a diaper on the jet bridge at PHL, while having to still get through customs for your connecting LGN flight. Cabin pressure changes make little humans do messy things.

 

With this handful (or so) of tricks earned over decades of debacles, this list is superficial to the true magnitude of tricks I possess. I'm remarkable clumsy, more than most naturally presume. Add this fact to an adventurous spirit, and I've learned most likely more than my years necessitate.

And as we all are uniquely individual, each with our own path, I am interested to learn your sage remedies.

If the only way out is often through, what handy tricks of the trade have you learned as a result?


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ThinkJess4 Comments